Ok, so I've been seeing these posts and pictures everywhere, and I'm honestly so tired of it, that I need to make something clear.
A man is NOT defined by how often he texts his girl, or how often he calls her. There was a time when there were no cell phones and a man had to walk his ass to a girl's house, throw rocks at a window just to get her attention, or call the house phone and ask her mom if he could speak with her. Texting is a modern day privilege that most of us have forgotten we once did without. Don't define your fucking boyfriend by the number of texts he sends. Cut that shit out, get real, a text is a text, and most times, we take them out of context anyway.
A man is NOT defined by how many times he says he misses you. Guys are fucking guys, they very rarely show emotion. Most girls are lucky to have a guy who isn't AFRAID to utter those words, let alone get a guy to say "I love you". Ask around, tell your friends be honest, and I bet you half your friends are dating a guy that can't even say "I care", "I miss you" or "I LIKE YOU".
A man is NOT defined by how he lays it down in the bedroom. That's your business, nobody else's. He doesn't need to pull your hair, he doesn't need to play rough. A good man in the bedroom caters to what his girl NEEDS. He knows her body, he knows her mind, he knows her soul. If she can feel at the end of her encounter that there's nothing better than the connection that just resulted from the intimate moment they just shared, then guess what ladies, you got yourself a "Real Man".
And lastly, to all you selfish, materialistic type chicks...your MAN is not defined by how much money he spends on you, the "just because" gifts he gets you, the things he does for your birthday, that concert he took you to, that Coach bag he bought you, etc. How much would you bet if you asked him why he did it, that "just because" turns into "because that's what she expects". Good job, you became an obligation.
A "REAL Man" is defined by the way he treats his girl at all times. The way he treats her when they're alone, the way he treats her in front of his friends, family, her friends, her family. A man is defined by the love he gives to her. Any guy can SAY they love you, but how many of them will show it? A man who loves you knows that your happiness is what matters most, that the smile on your face lights up HIS world. He doesn't need to say it 10 times a day, because if he was a REAL man, you'd know that no matter what happens, he loves you more than anyone else. A real man will not just introduce you to his mom, but make you feel like you're a part of his family, that his mom is your mom, and that she loves you as much as he does. A real man knows that the real treasure, is the beautiful woman that he is with, and that no amount of jewelry can make her more valuable, because she already was. A real man knows that no amount of time can come between the relationship. He's not afraid to take that two week business trip because he knows that when he returns, you won't love him any less, in fact if you were smart, you'd love him more. That business trip was so that he could keep his job to support YOU.
To all those Real men out there, the ones not defined by today's standards, keep doing what you do, because one day, we woman will wise up when we realize that we were searching for the wrong things. Some of us may take a little longer, but hey us girls are willing to wait for guys too. To the women who understand what I'm saying, and know a real man, or have a real man, thank God for him tonight, because some of us are still wishing for one.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
They Said Jump Back on the Horse...of Course, When You do, it's a Merry-Go-Round
So you just broke up with your significant other and you're looking to get back on the dating scene. You've heard the phrase enough times already "Don't you think you should just get back on the horse? I mean really, everybody falls". Of course, the horse we tend to choose, is the fake fucker on the merry-go-round. Congratulations, you just threw yourself a step backwards and now you're going in circles to shitty music while the outside world is looking in on this not-so-fun ride.
I'm certainly no expert on relationships. You're talking to the girl who finds every reason imaginable to push people away because I literally don't know how to tell a guy that he's just not what I'm looking for. I also come off as heartless because I'll either ignore you to avoid the confrontation, or I'm really not hurt after someone leaves me, unless it's someone I truly care about. And in my lifetime, there's only been two people who I can say have left their marks on my heart. Everybody else, just walked in and out. But here's the thing, I'm observant, I study and I learn. And with these skills that I possess, I can infer and hope that my advice makes sense, but keep in mind, my advice will be generalized and my readers have the absolute freedom to adapt my advice to fit their needs and their situation. And really, that's the best way to deal with it anyway.
This blog is dedicated to a friend of mine, who after coming out of a long-term relationship is finding himself surrounded by beautiful women, with no interest of actually embarking on the dating scene. Now ladies, do not think of my boy Chad as a ladies man who's just looking to get his fun on while he finds that special someone. The amazing thing about this friend of mine is that he finds again, the BEAUTY in these women. He looks at them as potential partners, not potential fun times. He said his major complaint is the time it takes to initiate a woman into his life, and my goodness he is certainly right.
My advice to him was this: I've realized that our past is the past. The choices we've made show our emotions and our mindset in the time we've made these choices. But now we're at an age where we're looking for meaning in relationships again. Here's the thing though, that's so hard to do, when we don't know what the meaning is. His meaning is that he wants to find someone who will cuddle with him on a night in over a movie, take walks holding hands, and while this sounds cheesy movie cliché, some people still find this in their partners, so there's no shame in it.
He says he attracts beautiful "fast" women. So I told him this: you have to mirror the person you want your woman to be. The reason is because I've learned that a lot of women imitate the image a guy says he wants in a girl, if she feels that this guy is worth exploring. So if you want a mature, confident, woman, you have to exude maturity and confidence. You have to be what you want them to be, and we will indeed come to your level because we see it as a challenge.
Here's a situation: You're at a bar, talking to two women who have the basic qualities that you're looking for. One is prettier than the other though. Go with the one who's not as pretty, because here's what happens: the prettier one will now humble herself because you didn't choose her, you chose the other, and the not-as pretty one will be more confident in herself because she beat the pretty girl, and even if neither girl works out, you basically molded two women in a sense. And ladies, don't scold me for this, cz we're about to release Girl Code on TV...so our secrets are now coming out one way or another. So now how do you approach these women? We give clues. We're not good at it though, that and men aren't good at receiving them. Guys, the rate a girl drinks her drink will determine the length of time she's staying. If a girl is there just to drink, and she's slamming them down quickly, then she's either trying to get over someone, or it's girls night and she's taken so she doesn't care about the outcome either way. But a girl who's looking to at least catch a guy's attention will take her time. She'll glance around the bar and make eye contact. If you connect with her, and she smiles, step 1 is in the bag. Step 2 gets harder. You have to wait for that second clue, it'll either be the look with a hair flip, hair tuck, or some other small gesture. That's the ok, I'm playing shy card. You may now walk over to her. If her cup is full, don't offer the drink, let her finish the one she's got. When you see her running out, offer to buy her another, if she hints she's going to stay. If she says no, don't press it, she's just trying to assert her independence. Let it be that way, but continue to pursue conversation. If she says yes, only buy her the one. A guy who spends too much money on the first meet, is a guy with other motives in our opinion. The drink is an ice breaker, the rest is up to you.
It's not easy. Getting back on the horse is always hard, because most of the time, you go into it blind, scared, or misguided. Most often it's misguided, but also it's often all 3. Even if you end up on the merry-go-round it's ok. Look at it this way, you're learning to conquer the beginner stages, before moving on to the real beast. As for those onlookers, remember this one VERY important thing about them: they will try to tell you how to ride, they will try and tell you to get off, they will try to tell you that you're being silly. But don't listen to them because guess what, they're not there with you, and more importantly, they're not YOU. Plain and simple. Enjoy the ride people. It gets better.
I'm certainly no expert on relationships. You're talking to the girl who finds every reason imaginable to push people away because I literally don't know how to tell a guy that he's just not what I'm looking for. I also come off as heartless because I'll either ignore you to avoid the confrontation, or I'm really not hurt after someone leaves me, unless it's someone I truly care about. And in my lifetime, there's only been two people who I can say have left their marks on my heart. Everybody else, just walked in and out. But here's the thing, I'm observant, I study and I learn. And with these skills that I possess, I can infer and hope that my advice makes sense, but keep in mind, my advice will be generalized and my readers have the absolute freedom to adapt my advice to fit their needs and their situation. And really, that's the best way to deal with it anyway.
This blog is dedicated to a friend of mine, who after coming out of a long-term relationship is finding himself surrounded by beautiful women, with no interest of actually embarking on the dating scene. Now ladies, do not think of my boy Chad as a ladies man who's just looking to get his fun on while he finds that special someone. The amazing thing about this friend of mine is that he finds again, the BEAUTY in these women. He looks at them as potential partners, not potential fun times. He said his major complaint is the time it takes to initiate a woman into his life, and my goodness he is certainly right.
My advice to him was this: I've realized that our past is the past. The choices we've made show our emotions and our mindset in the time we've made these choices. But now we're at an age where we're looking for meaning in relationships again. Here's the thing though, that's so hard to do, when we don't know what the meaning is. His meaning is that he wants to find someone who will cuddle with him on a night in over a movie, take walks holding hands, and while this sounds cheesy movie cliché, some people still find this in their partners, so there's no shame in it.
He says he attracts beautiful "fast" women. So I told him this: you have to mirror the person you want your woman to be. The reason is because I've learned that a lot of women imitate the image a guy says he wants in a girl, if she feels that this guy is worth exploring. So if you want a mature, confident, woman, you have to exude maturity and confidence. You have to be what you want them to be, and we will indeed come to your level because we see it as a challenge.
Here's a situation: You're at a bar, talking to two women who have the basic qualities that you're looking for. One is prettier than the other though. Go with the one who's not as pretty, because here's what happens: the prettier one will now humble herself because you didn't choose her, you chose the other, and the not-as pretty one will be more confident in herself because she beat the pretty girl, and even if neither girl works out, you basically molded two women in a sense. And ladies, don't scold me for this, cz we're about to release Girl Code on TV...so our secrets are now coming out one way or another. So now how do you approach these women? We give clues. We're not good at it though, that and men aren't good at receiving them. Guys, the rate a girl drinks her drink will determine the length of time she's staying. If a girl is there just to drink, and she's slamming them down quickly, then she's either trying to get over someone, or it's girls night and she's taken so she doesn't care about the outcome either way. But a girl who's looking to at least catch a guy's attention will take her time. She'll glance around the bar and make eye contact. If you connect with her, and she smiles, step 1 is in the bag. Step 2 gets harder. You have to wait for that second clue, it'll either be the look with a hair flip, hair tuck, or some other small gesture. That's the ok, I'm playing shy card. You may now walk over to her. If her cup is full, don't offer the drink, let her finish the one she's got. When you see her running out, offer to buy her another, if she hints she's going to stay. If she says no, don't press it, she's just trying to assert her independence. Let it be that way, but continue to pursue conversation. If she says yes, only buy her the one. A guy who spends too much money on the first meet, is a guy with other motives in our opinion. The drink is an ice breaker, the rest is up to you.
It's not easy. Getting back on the horse is always hard, because most of the time, you go into it blind, scared, or misguided. Most often it's misguided, but also it's often all 3. Even if you end up on the merry-go-round it's ok. Look at it this way, you're learning to conquer the beginner stages, before moving on to the real beast. As for those onlookers, remember this one VERY important thing about them: they will try to tell you how to ride, they will try and tell you to get off, they will try to tell you that you're being silly. But don't listen to them because guess what, they're not there with you, and more importantly, they're not YOU. Plain and simple. Enjoy the ride people. It gets better.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Dream Chasing
It's amazing how throughout your life, people tell you that you can be anything you want to be. And while for some that may be true, others sooner or later realize that in order to be what you want to be, you have to develop your skill set in the area which you choose. The hard thing about it though, is that to develop your skill, you have to first recognize your strengths and your weaknesses. School teaches us the fundamentals, the basics. It creates for us the foundation to a long and exhausting life path in which we work to support a lifestyle, whether it's the lifestyle we want, or the lifestyle that we fall into.
We start with your basic subjects. Language skills/English, Math, Science, Social Studies/History and the Arts. From these subjects we learn what areas we're good at. Some of us excel in all of them, making us a well rounded individual who can pretty much go into any field in which we dream of. Others of us get grouped into the categories of being excellent with numbers, or being excellent with words and facts. Either way, our paths are created for us from the beginning, and it's then that we begin to realize that this is just the beginning of honing our knowledge and developing it into something that we can use to build our future.
I was one of those students who was pretty much well rounded. I had high grades all across the board and I learned things quickly. I was in advanced classes, and my teachers recognized my dedication to my school work, but they realized the one thing I had was a tendency to overwhelm myself, and thus, it created a bit of anxiety. I found however, that I was more into Arts and English/History/Social Sciences than being so privy to numbers. But my dreams were basically not my own. My parents had instilled in me at a young age that I would one day be a lawyer, and when choosing colleges that's what I focused on.
My degree is in Media & Communications and while studying I wanted to become a radio producer. I loved being behind the microphone and I loved being able to edit audio, turning them into shows, commercials, promos, etc. But lately, I found my degree was the foundation for something a little different..that my communication skills, and my retail management abilities combined, can take me anywhere, including marketing. However, a lifestyle change has also influenced me to focus on my nutrition and my health and well-being.
My dad works for a nutrition company, and I found that they have a marketing department, as any large and successful company would. The fantastic thing about it is that I now have a new dream...to join my dad's corporation and take my knowledge of my new great lifestyle, and bring that to others. Sounds like a fantastic plan to me. I'm going for it, and it all starts now.
We start with your basic subjects. Language skills/English, Math, Science, Social Studies/History and the Arts. From these subjects we learn what areas we're good at. Some of us excel in all of them, making us a well rounded individual who can pretty much go into any field in which we dream of. Others of us get grouped into the categories of being excellent with numbers, or being excellent with words and facts. Either way, our paths are created for us from the beginning, and it's then that we begin to realize that this is just the beginning of honing our knowledge and developing it into something that we can use to build our future.
I was one of those students who was pretty much well rounded. I had high grades all across the board and I learned things quickly. I was in advanced classes, and my teachers recognized my dedication to my school work, but they realized the one thing I had was a tendency to overwhelm myself, and thus, it created a bit of anxiety. I found however, that I was more into Arts and English/History/Social Sciences than being so privy to numbers. But my dreams were basically not my own. My parents had instilled in me at a young age that I would one day be a lawyer, and when choosing colleges that's what I focused on.
My degree is in Media & Communications and while studying I wanted to become a radio producer. I loved being behind the microphone and I loved being able to edit audio, turning them into shows, commercials, promos, etc. But lately, I found my degree was the foundation for something a little different..that my communication skills, and my retail management abilities combined, can take me anywhere, including marketing. However, a lifestyle change has also influenced me to focus on my nutrition and my health and well-being.
My dad works for a nutrition company, and I found that they have a marketing department, as any large and successful company would. The fantastic thing about it is that I now have a new dream...to join my dad's corporation and take my knowledge of my new great lifestyle, and bring that to others. Sounds like a fantastic plan to me. I'm going for it, and it all starts now.
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