Looking like Santa post Thanksgiving? Christmas Diet...Here We Come!

So people have been asking me what my dieting secrets are and how I've managed to keep my body small. Listen, it wasn't easy. I bloated out my junior and senior year of college, put on at least 10 to 12 pounds and had my brother constantly call me fat and say "No Melissa, you really are getting fat". I took action after my senior year and thought to myself, I need to just get it all back, I don't want this little potbelly, I want a flat stomach, I want a bikini body and I want something I'd be proud of, because that's one less insecurity I'd have. Guess what, I did it!

My secrets:

1. Eliminate soda. I'm going back on my diet today. I slacked off because of a mini depression but now that I've found my bearings again, the first thing that worked real well was eliminating soda. The amount of sugars one bottle of soda contains is equal to about 16 spoons of sugar in your coffee. Completely not necessary by any means, and all it does is get converted to fat because your body will not burn it all in a day if you don't do exercise.

2. Look up fat flushers. Some foods are natural fat flushers, like raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, and even peaches for those of you who don't like the berry family. Kale is also a fat flusher, and certain spices believe it or not are fat flushers too. Which is why a lot of people are now looking to buy Raspberry Ketones, a supplement that's supposed to boost your metabolism. But I tell people, don't buy it because TV promotes it as a diet pill, do your research and research indicates that again, raspberries are good overall as part of your diet plan. So keep it natural, and buy a pint of the fruit itself :)

3. Put yourself on a controlled diet plan. Counting calories is tough, and not too many people really have the time to do it. So here's an easy way to really get your body in tip top shape without the calorie counting. Keep your breakfast and dinner on small portions and make lunch your biggest meal. Your body's metabolism is already active by lunch time and will be able to burn the food you have eaten for the day, but by dinner time, it slows down again, and what you eat, some of it will be stored and that's what you want to avoid. So for breakfast, cereal, oatmeal, small sandwiches are all simple and great to eat. Egg whites instead of eggs are excellent, fat free half and half milk instead of whole milk, whole wheat bread instead of white, are things to keep in mind.

4. Snacking is definitely okay. In fact I recommend it. Our bodies need energy to sustain ourselves through the day. My favorites are Fiber One brownies that are 90 calories each. Plus fiber is a great way to keep our digestive systems going and healthy. Also I absolutely love sugar free Jell-O pudding. My favorite is the chocolate vanilla swirl and trust me when I say you are not being skimped out on the taste.

5. Exercise. Now I don't feel you need to spend a ton of money joining a gym membership. There were two things I did to burn off those stored calories and fat, and that was simple cardio workouts. I used a cardio boxing game on my Wii to burn off those excess calories, and even something simple as jump roping and walking is all cardio. It gets your heart going, blood pumping and again activates your metabolism. You utilize your carbs, calories and fats as energy now, rather than it being stored in the body.

6. Last Resort: Supplementing diet stuff. I'm going to admit that I actually did supplement some dieting stuff to burn off those last few stubborn pounds, but that's all it was needed for. I was able to drop ten pounds on my own without the use of any dieting stuff, but for that last bit, I used Triple Strength L-Carnitine, an amino acid used for muscular energy and fat metabolism. Another good one is CLA and like I said Raspberry Ketones, but that one I don't think is as good as eating the actual fruit. Just my opinion, I don't endorse or feel it's required as part of your diet.

There you have it. My entire diet plan and methods that I used in the past year and a half. And I have to say, I still follow most of it. And when I get back to it all, my turkey belly will be gone by Christmas :) although I need it gone by the 15th!

When it Comes to Love

I've always believed that there's a difference between what we want and what we need. But I am also realistic, I've always been aware that way too often people confuse these two and mistake what they think they need for something they really want. It's honestly hard to tell the difference, but here's where the line becomes the blurriest...when it comes to love.

We all want to find someone that we can really connect with, someone who will make us laugh, smile, who will melt our hearts and make us that giggly little girl that you see in movies. Someone who's romantic who will always find a way to show that they are thinking of us. But it really isn't the same as what we need.

It's hard to determine what we need in a relationship. Some of us girls need a man who will be our rock, her strength, someone who can get her through the things she can't do alone. Others of us need someone to be our opposite. The man who will tame our wild ways, or the man who will bring that little wild side out of us, someone who can show us all the things we're missing.

Now the fun part...what we deserve. This is probably where most relationships fall apart. Our heads are filled with ideas on the type of guy we deserve. Our friends tell us, you deserve a guy who will always text you, it shows you're always on his mind. If he doesn't, then he doesn't really care about you. Please don't fall for this, to some extent, it's true, a guy should text you, but not all the time. He needs time to miss you, he needs time to feel your lack of presence. But there are times where he will be busy, or he will have a lot on his mind, and while yes, a text takes only a few seconds, not all men think that way. Here's another one: you deserve a guy who treats you like a princess, like a queen. Someone who spoils you. No, not at all. I don't want someone to treat me like a princess or a queen or spoil me because it's not always genuine. The princesses we think of are the Disney princesses, the ones who meet their soulmate through a kiss that wakes them from a deep sleep or rescues them from a poison apple. The prince who searches far and wide across the land to find the maiden who left her shoe behind in his castle and sweeps her away from a rough family situation. The man who showers you with gifts and little tokens of affection to keep you happy or keep you around, but it doesn't necessarily means that he's just as happy. Lastly, here's my favorite, you deserve a guy who'll never make you cry. Let's be realistic, we're females, we're gonna cry. But it depends on the reason why you do it. If you're with a guy who makes you cry because all you do is argue all the time, then no that's not someone you want to be with. But if you cry because your biggest fear is losing him, because you know that you can't be without him, because you're so happy that he's in your life, then that's a man worth fighting for. Those are tears worth shedding.

So here's the way I see it. Find the man who makes you feel everything that you can't get from anyone else. The kind of love that you can't get from family and friends. Find the guy who makes you feel what people cannot see...the butterflies in your stomach, the erratic beating of your heart, the fire in your soul, the radiance of your aura. Find the guy who makes you smile at the thought of him, at the thought of seeing him. The one who makes you exuberate happiness outwardly. When the whole world can see how happy you are at the mere mention of his name, when they can see that glow, then you know you have found something that is unbelievable, something that can't be matched.

So on a personal note, I'll tell the world, I need him. I don't want to be without him, because all I want is him. More than anything. There is no other, because I just don't care nor am I interested in any other man. He has my heart and I know I've done everything to push him away, but many times, he stayed. He saw something in me, and it was something he thought was worth exploring. I cry because losing him hurts more than anything. He's the one thing in my life that I'd fight for, the one thing I want to keep, the one constant that keeps me going, that makes me strive to continue to be a better me. He pushed me to greatness, he made me a stronger fighter, he showed me that not only was I awesome, but that I was an accomplished chick. And while I knew all of this on a certain level, he took me to the next. And all I wanted, all I still want, is to do the same for him. But now I can't, and now I'm without. And I'm not the same.