These eyes gaze upon me and they see everything that I don't want them to see, let alone anyone else. They see me, inside and out. They see me exposed, they see me covered. They see me in my every moment of weakness and in my every moment of strength. These eyes start from the top. They see my hair. It has roots growing in, I should dye it again. It looks messy, I didn't get to straighten it the way I wanted to this morning. It just wasn't coming out right. It's getting too long for me to handle. Ugh my hair, maybe I should let it keep growing, I mean it does look a bit nice the way it flows. At least it's shiny and not dull.
Then those eyes migrate to my face. I broke out. I have blemishes and dark spots everywhere. At least I look better than what I did a week ago, even two weeks ago. That was just embarrassing. Bad acne, it was terrible. Now just to get those dark spots. Don't smile, your teeth could be whiter. My face is bare, not an ounce of make-up. I knew I should have at least put on eyeliner and mascara. Or even some foundation, then these dark spots wouldn't be so bad. Please don't look at my face much longer. Oh dear, what's next?
My upper body. I have tattoos, yes I know. Don't judge me on them, they have meaning. Yes that's one on my chest. And yes, it's a dragonfly, so what. I plan on adding more to it anyway. I should cover my boobs, I don't want these eyes to see my scar. My scar, from my surgery. Still doing fine, thankfully. Although I get the occasional pain. I heard that comes with any surgery though. Then there's that birthmark. It had to be this one light skin patch in the middle of my chest. I wish my neck wasn't so boney. I look skinny. Except my stomach, it's not as flat as I want it to be. I'm still working on that. Summer six pack is my goal, are you finished yet? Not sure how much more I can endure.
My lower body...ok good, these eyes are almost done staring. I feel like I've just been examined from head to toe, well ok I have been. My legs are nothing to brag about. I have wide hips for a girl my height. Let's face it, I'm Hispanic, hips were bound to happen here. My thighs are a bit chunky, not toned, but those are getting there too. I have scars on them also, but that's because I was a bit more of an outdoor kid, which brings me to my knees...yep, banged up and dry, with a big scar of where I scraped myself running. I hit the concrete pretty hard that day. I remember that cut too. It hurt bad. That scar never went away. Thank goodness I shaved today, at least my legs are smooth. My calves are kind of toned. That's because I have a job where I'm mostly standing. But then there's the fact that I come home and dance to my music. I also used to dance at my family parties. You get good tone if you can dance some salsa and merengue. Thank you mom for that one. You're pretty much done there right? I mean my feet? They're small. I have little toes too. I need a pedicure, but I mean it hasn't exactly been open toe shoe weather. Stop staring, you're killing me.
These eyes upon me, looking at every detail of my body. Examining me, breaking me down, wearing on my soul, judging me...these eyes, they're my own. And if this is how I feel about myself sometimes, how is it that he can call me beautiful? How is it that he can see every inch of me, see me pre-op, post-op and not care? How is it that he can say everytime he sees me that I still look amazing? He'll never know the comfort he gives me, the self-esteem he gives a boost, the eyes that overanalyze, are trying to see what he sees. He sees me, and at the end of the day, if he can still sit there and tell me I'm awesome, and tell me that I'm amazing, then maybe these eyes, are blind to what's really there. Show me the way....show me your way. Show me, the me that you see. She sounds beautiful <3
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Moon to my Mars
Moon to my Mars
Waking up after a long night, feeling the warmth of your skin
Sends shivers up and down my spine, makes my heart flutter within
I turn and see you sleeping there, turned over to your side
Your little snores, that I adore, you dream, and you smile wide
You are the embodiment of your sign, the crab, the child of the moon
And everytime you're in my arms, I can do nothing but swoon
With everyday that we grew closer, I knew what I found was right
You've brought so much to my life, a happiness, a light
I never thought I'd be sitting here, a year ago today
Never thought I'd find someone that made me feel this way
You push me to greatness, you're my reason to be better
All the advice, all the nights, the moments we had together
Whenever I needed an escape, it was you I'd run to see
You'd hold me in your arms and say, "let it go, you're with me"
Astrology has aligned in our favor, your moon to my Mars
My favorite night of all with you, was that night under the stars
I know this poem is way too sappy, but guess what I don't care
Because after a year of knowing you, losing you is more than I could bear.
We've been through our ups and downs, and though you left me for a while
The moment you came back to me, all I could do was smile
The void, the anger, the hurt, the sadness, it all just went away
You said you weren't going anywhere, now I know, you're here to stay
Here's to you a Cancer, loving, caring, kind hearted, and secure
Stuck with a Scorpio who's so emotional, just glad you can endure!
Waking up after a long night, feeling the warmth of your skin
Sends shivers up and down my spine, makes my heart flutter within
I turn and see you sleeping there, turned over to your side
Your little snores, that I adore, you dream, and you smile wide
You are the embodiment of your sign, the crab, the child of the moon
And everytime you're in my arms, I can do nothing but swoon
With everyday that we grew closer, I knew what I found was right
You've brought so much to my life, a happiness, a light
I never thought I'd be sitting here, a year ago today
Never thought I'd find someone that made me feel this way
You push me to greatness, you're my reason to be better
All the advice, all the nights, the moments we had together
Whenever I needed an escape, it was you I'd run to see
You'd hold me in your arms and say, "let it go, you're with me"
Astrology has aligned in our favor, your moon to my Mars
My favorite night of all with you, was that night under the stars
I know this poem is way too sappy, but guess what I don't care
Because after a year of knowing you, losing you is more than I could bear.
We've been through our ups and downs, and though you left me for a while
The moment you came back to me, all I could do was smile
The void, the anger, the hurt, the sadness, it all just went away
You said you weren't going anywhere, now I know, you're here to stay
Here's to you a Cancer, loving, caring, kind hearted, and secure
Stuck with a Scorpio who's so emotional, just glad you can endure!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Words Unspoken
Ok people this one is done by special request...haven't done poetry in a long ass time, so please excuse me if it's not that great. But if this one gets enough feedback, maybe over time, I could get back into it...
Words Unspoken: Story of Goodbye
The story of a heart that's broken
Told with words that were left unspoken
I sit here looking through my windowpane
As outside it starts to rain
I think of these beautiful April Showers
Of a love that could have grown like a flower
But instead I sit here, about to cry
Wondering why instead, I had to say goodbye
I would have given you the best part of me
The part of me that would have been only yours to see
Something that's sacred, something I treasure
Something that when given, no words could measure
We could have shared many starry nights,
Of course what's any relationship without any fights
But I would have been determined to see this through
I would have been ready to give my heart to you
Through a twist of fate, our paths began to part
Like a fork in the road, not knowing where to start
You took one way and in an instant you were gone
The path I chose to follow, it seems it was the one that's wrong
For you see, I'm having trouble finding where you are
I wonder where you could have gone, and if I'm really far
As I try to get close to you, I just can't seem to catch a break
Maybe this is my fault, and what I hoped to be real, just was a bit fake
I could have been a tad bit hasty, seeing something worth so much more
You could say that I'm a bit of a romanticist, some find that to be a bore
I promise you though, if you had taken just one leap of faith
That everything I give to you would have been worth the wait
But again, I sit here, about to cry
Wondering why instead, I had to say goodbye.
Hm...and this isn't even my situation...but tell me what you guys all think!
Words Unspoken: Story of Goodbye
The story of a heart that's broken
Told with words that were left unspoken
I sit here looking through my windowpane
As outside it starts to rain
I think of these beautiful April Showers
Of a love that could have grown like a flower
But instead I sit here, about to cry
Wondering why instead, I had to say goodbye
I would have given you the best part of me
The part of me that would have been only yours to see
Something that's sacred, something I treasure
Something that when given, no words could measure
We could have shared many starry nights,
Of course what's any relationship without any fights
But I would have been determined to see this through
I would have been ready to give my heart to you
Through a twist of fate, our paths began to part
Like a fork in the road, not knowing where to start
You took one way and in an instant you were gone
The path I chose to follow, it seems it was the one that's wrong
For you see, I'm having trouble finding where you are
I wonder where you could have gone, and if I'm really far
As I try to get close to you, I just can't seem to catch a break
Maybe this is my fault, and what I hoped to be real, just was a bit fake
I could have been a tad bit hasty, seeing something worth so much more
You could say that I'm a bit of a romanticist, some find that to be a bore
I promise you though, if you had taken just one leap of faith
That everything I give to you would have been worth the wait
But again, I sit here, about to cry
Wondering why instead, I had to say goodbye.
Hm...and this isn't even my situation...but tell me what you guys all think!
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Outnumbered, but Still Gold...
Women in the Sports industry. We are severely outnumbered here, and unfortunately, while we're trying to play catch up, the men already have a major upperhand.
Take myself for instance...I work in Vitamin World, which is a nutrition store for vitamins, minerals, protein and other sports nutrition supplements. We pride ourselves on the customer service aspect, and the company offers a program where associates can learn about the products then test their knowledge to become a VW Nutritional Advisor. Most of the stores in the district however, are operating on either a 3:1 ratio or a 2:2 ratio. For the most part, the men outnumber the women, and I get to be a part of that lovely 3:1 store ratio.
It's not that bad, I mean I've learned a lot by working with men. I've learned about what they tend to focus on in regards to their health. While most of the older men tend to focus on overall health and heart health, we get the occasional specialty customer who wants to improve drive and energy. While there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, these men aren't exactly comfortable talking to women about these types of needs. I mean realistically, no man ever wants to reveal to a female employee at a store that he's looking to improve function, it's practically an ego destroyer. But now the same goes for the women. I've had so many women come up to me and say it's nice to see a girl in this store, it's mostly men and I can't always talk to them about certain things. It's a sucky situation either way you look at it.
Now let's look at the sports industry in its entirety. There aren't a lot of women out there. I mean they say the sports are equal but they're really not. The sports industry is still segregated for one thing. We have Women's Softball vs Baseball, Women's basketball vs NBA. Admittedly, some of these sports should be segregated, like wrestling and MMA, I mean it wouldn't be fair at all if a woman had to try to take down a man who even though may be in the same weight class, their frames are different and so is their mass. But in regards to baseball, I don't believe a larger ball is going to be the difference between whether or not a girl can play baseball or softball. I mean realistically, is this what we're basing it on? Same thing with the basketball, the weight of the ball is different as well as the courts, rules, etc. I mean these are two sports where I don't see the big deal in unifying them.
No matter the way you look at it, again, men have had the head start in the industry. Even today, a lot of the workout and sports supplements we have contain ingredients that are meant for expanding the frame, and for men, boosting the testosterone levels. For women who don't want to expand the frame, spike insulin levels, increase mass, all that stuff, we want something that will boost our energy and won't weigh us down. Not many supplements will do that. So we're stuck.
Hopefully one day we will catch up, but we have made phenomenal strides, we have women sports celebs, women Gold medalists, women champs, women sponsors, fighters, etc. We're getting there, and it'll take time and work, but we can do it, cz we're women!
Take myself for instance...I work in Vitamin World, which is a nutrition store for vitamins, minerals, protein and other sports nutrition supplements. We pride ourselves on the customer service aspect, and the company offers a program where associates can learn about the products then test their knowledge to become a VW Nutritional Advisor. Most of the stores in the district however, are operating on either a 3:1 ratio or a 2:2 ratio. For the most part, the men outnumber the women, and I get to be a part of that lovely 3:1 store ratio.
It's not that bad, I mean I've learned a lot by working with men. I've learned about what they tend to focus on in regards to their health. While most of the older men tend to focus on overall health and heart health, we get the occasional specialty customer who wants to improve drive and energy. While there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, these men aren't exactly comfortable talking to women about these types of needs. I mean realistically, no man ever wants to reveal to a female employee at a store that he's looking to improve function, it's practically an ego destroyer. But now the same goes for the women. I've had so many women come up to me and say it's nice to see a girl in this store, it's mostly men and I can't always talk to them about certain things. It's a sucky situation either way you look at it.
Now let's look at the sports industry in its entirety. There aren't a lot of women out there. I mean they say the sports are equal but they're really not. The sports industry is still segregated for one thing. We have Women's Softball vs Baseball, Women's basketball vs NBA. Admittedly, some of these sports should be segregated, like wrestling and MMA, I mean it wouldn't be fair at all if a woman had to try to take down a man who even though may be in the same weight class, their frames are different and so is their mass. But in regards to baseball, I don't believe a larger ball is going to be the difference between whether or not a girl can play baseball or softball. I mean realistically, is this what we're basing it on? Same thing with the basketball, the weight of the ball is different as well as the courts, rules, etc. I mean these are two sports where I don't see the big deal in unifying them.
No matter the way you look at it, again, men have had the head start in the industry. Even today, a lot of the workout and sports supplements we have contain ingredients that are meant for expanding the frame, and for men, boosting the testosterone levels. For women who don't want to expand the frame, spike insulin levels, increase mass, all that stuff, we want something that will boost our energy and won't weigh us down. Not many supplements will do that. So we're stuck.
Hopefully one day we will catch up, but we have made phenomenal strides, we have women sports celebs, women Gold medalists, women champs, women sponsors, fighters, etc. We're getting there, and it'll take time and work, but we can do it, cz we're women!
Saturday, April 13, 2013
What's Your 10? (I have an obsession with this number, sue me)
There's a lot of things that people don't tell you about when it comes to life. There are a lot of things that your teachers just can't teach. I had a mini blast from the past the other day with one of my high school teachers, and when I reminded them of my graduating year, their response was "That's almost 10 years ago, wow you're old". Now I know my old teacher was joking, as they always had an interesting sense of humor, but still it got me thinking, what have I done in almost ten years?
Then I saw a Hey Arnold post about someone who got creative enough to talk about the growth of the characters in 10 years. While some of it was a sad story, it makes us reflect again, on how our lives have changed, of the experiences we've gone through and of all the things we've accomplished, and of all the things we've yet to accomplish.
I have to say, I'm proud of myself for finishing my Bachelor's, even though I was a year behind schedule. And now I'm thinking of going to pursue a Master's, but there's a lot more evaluating involved, as my major was a competitive market, and the program to obtain this Master, can be quite extensive depending on the institution I choose. It can also be quite expensive.
So let's reflect on my 8 years (almost 10). I started working my senior year of HS. I was 17 and I started in a grocery store. Because I was good and had top cashier scores, the Ops manager moved me up to Customer Service as soon as I turned 18. From there it was easy, I went to floral part time to help out, customer service, and eventually worked my way up to a couple shifts a week supervising the front end. I was full time at Queens College with an undeclared major, working about 30 to 35 hours a week, and because I drove in rush hour traffic, you could tack on an extra 20 hours a week with just that alone. So let's just say I was looking at a very occupied schedule with little time to myself, and if you want to talk about getting gray hairs at an early age, yep, that was me. To have to start dying my hair at 18 to cover grays rather than for luxury is no joke.
By 19, I had begun working at Staples, still a full time gig, but for a little more money. Worked part time in Copy Center, until I decided to take a semester off. I was drowning in school, in the long drive, in long hours, and classes that were unnecessary for the major, but part of the liberal arts gen ed program. Still wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but knew what I didn't want to do, and that was enough to switch my path.
By 21, I had pretty much found my way again. I was taking excellent courses in a major that I loved, I had two awesome internships, I was working full time as a supervisor for Calvin Klein, and things were starting to look ok. With the exception of the fact that I hated my job, school was going exactly the way I needed it to, and that's what my focus was. I loved college finally, and I didn't want to leave.
Flash forward to where I am now. 25 years old. I've held a supervisory position in 3 companies, going on 4, I have a total of 8 years retail experience, almost 4 in supervisory, I have completed my Bachelor's in Media and Communications, and because it is a slim and super competitive market, a job is difficult to find. I have a 2 to 3 year plan, but my first year has yet to work out the way I envisioned, and when you have an amazing support system that stands behind every decision you make, all while encouraging you to still do better, letting your other down is the last thing you want to do. And even though you know he's proud of you because he tells you on a constant basis, you know you want to do so much more and you just put pressure on yourself.
My resume shows my creativity and my experience. It's a reflection of my character, and I stand by what's in it. The problem is trying to take old school practices in the professional world into an industry that is forever modernizing itself. Tonight I'm gonna think of him. I'm gonna do my best to continue to make him proud, because I want to continue to hear him say "I'm proud of you". This person makes me feel like I can conquer my dreams, and I want him to be part of that process. He's the person who I tell first about an upcoming interview, so let's hope that I land one incredibly soon.
Then I saw a Hey Arnold post about someone who got creative enough to talk about the growth of the characters in 10 years. While some of it was a sad story, it makes us reflect again, on how our lives have changed, of the experiences we've gone through and of all the things we've accomplished, and of all the things we've yet to accomplish.
I have to say, I'm proud of myself for finishing my Bachelor's, even though I was a year behind schedule. And now I'm thinking of going to pursue a Master's, but there's a lot more evaluating involved, as my major was a competitive market, and the program to obtain this Master, can be quite extensive depending on the institution I choose. It can also be quite expensive.
So let's reflect on my 8 years (almost 10). I started working my senior year of HS. I was 17 and I started in a grocery store. Because I was good and had top cashier scores, the Ops manager moved me up to Customer Service as soon as I turned 18. From there it was easy, I went to floral part time to help out, customer service, and eventually worked my way up to a couple shifts a week supervising the front end. I was full time at Queens College with an undeclared major, working about 30 to 35 hours a week, and because I drove in rush hour traffic, you could tack on an extra 20 hours a week with just that alone. So let's just say I was looking at a very occupied schedule with little time to myself, and if you want to talk about getting gray hairs at an early age, yep, that was me. To have to start dying my hair at 18 to cover grays rather than for luxury is no joke.
By 19, I had begun working at Staples, still a full time gig, but for a little more money. Worked part time in Copy Center, until I decided to take a semester off. I was drowning in school, in the long drive, in long hours, and classes that were unnecessary for the major, but part of the liberal arts gen ed program. Still wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but knew what I didn't want to do, and that was enough to switch my path.
By 21, I had pretty much found my way again. I was taking excellent courses in a major that I loved, I had two awesome internships, I was working full time as a supervisor for Calvin Klein, and things were starting to look ok. With the exception of the fact that I hated my job, school was going exactly the way I needed it to, and that's what my focus was. I loved college finally, and I didn't want to leave.
Flash forward to where I am now. 25 years old. I've held a supervisory position in 3 companies, going on 4, I have a total of 8 years retail experience, almost 4 in supervisory, I have completed my Bachelor's in Media and Communications, and because it is a slim and super competitive market, a job is difficult to find. I have a 2 to 3 year plan, but my first year has yet to work out the way I envisioned, and when you have an amazing support system that stands behind every decision you make, all while encouraging you to still do better, letting your other down is the last thing you want to do. And even though you know he's proud of you because he tells you on a constant basis, you know you want to do so much more and you just put pressure on yourself.
My resume shows my creativity and my experience. It's a reflection of my character, and I stand by what's in it. The problem is trying to take old school practices in the professional world into an industry that is forever modernizing itself. Tonight I'm gonna think of him. I'm gonna do my best to continue to make him proud, because I want to continue to hear him say "I'm proud of you". This person makes me feel like I can conquer my dreams, and I want him to be part of that process. He's the person who I tell first about an upcoming interview, so let's hope that I land one incredibly soon.
Friday, April 12, 2013
They Said Jump Back on the Horse...of Course, When You do, it's a Merry-Go-Round
So you just broke up with your significant other and you're looking to get back on the dating scene. You've heard the phrase enough times already "Don't you think you should just get back on the horse? I mean really, everybody falls". Of course, the horse we tend to choose, is the fake fucker on the merry-go-round. Congratulations, you just threw yourself a step backwards and now you're going in circles to shitty music while the outside world is looking in on this not-so-fun ride.
I'm certainly no expert on relationships. You're talking to the girl who finds every reason imaginable to push people away because I literally don't know how to tell a guy that he's just not what I'm looking for. I also come off as heartless because I'll either ignore you to avoid the confrontation, or I'm really not hurt after someone leaves me, unless it's someone I truly care about. And in my lifetime, there's only been two people who I can say have left their marks on my heart. Everybody else, just walked in and out. But here's the thing, I'm observant, I study and I learn. And with these skills that I possess, I can infer and hope that my advice makes sense, but keep in mind, my advice will be generalized and my readers have the absolute freedom to adapt my advice to fit their needs and their situation. And really, that's the best way to deal with it anyway.
This blog is dedicated to a friend of mine, who after coming out of a long-term relationship is finding himself surrounded by beautiful women, with no interest of actually embarking on the dating scene. Now ladies, do not think of my boy Chad as a ladies man who's just looking to get his fun on while he finds that special someone. The amazing thing about this friend of mine is that he finds again, the BEAUTY in these women. He looks at them as potential partners, not potential fun times. He said his major complaint is the time it takes to initiate a woman into his life, and my goodness he is certainly right.
My advice to him was this: I've realized that our past is the past. The choices we've made show our emotions and our mindset in the time we've made these choices. But now we're at an age where we're looking for meaning in relationships again. Here's the thing though, that's so hard to do, when we don't know what the meaning is. His meaning is that he wants to find someone who will cuddle with him on a night in over a movie, take walks holding hands, and while this sounds cheesy movie cliché, some people still find this in their partners, so there's no shame in it.
He says he attracts beautiful "fast" women. So I told him this: you have to mirror the person you want your woman to be. The reason is because I've learned that a lot of women imitate the image a guy says he wants in a girl, if she feels that this guy is worth exploring. So if you want a mature, confident, woman, you have to exude maturity and confidence. You have to be what you want them to be, and we will indeed come to your level because we see it as a challenge.
Here's a situation: You're at a bar, talking to two women who have the basic qualities that you're looking for. One is prettier than the other though. Go with the one who's not as pretty, because here's what happens: the prettier one will now humble herself because you didn't choose her, you chose the other, and the not-as pretty one will be more confident in herself because she beat the pretty girl, and even if neither girl works out, you basically molded two women in a sense. And ladies, don't scold me for this, cz we're about to release Girl Code on TV...so our secrets are now coming out one way or another. So now how do you approach these women? We give clues. We're not good at it though, that and men aren't good at receiving them. Guys, the rate a girl drinks her drink will determine the length of time she's staying. If a girl is there just to drink, and she's slamming them down quickly, then she's either trying to get over someone, or it's girls night and she's taken so she doesn't care about the outcome either way. But a girl who's looking to at least catch a guy's attention will take her time. She'll glance around the bar and make eye contact. If you connect with her, and she smiles, step 1 is in the bag. Step 2 gets harder. You have to wait for that second clue, it'll either be the look with a hair flip, hair tuck, or some other small gesture. That's the ok, I'm playing shy card. You may now walk over to her. If her cup is full, don't offer the drink, let her finish the one she's got. When you see her running out, offer to buy her another, if she hints she's going to stay. If she says no, don't press it, she's just trying to assert her independence. Let it be that way, but continue to pursue conversation. If she says yes, only buy her the one. A guy who spends too much money on the first meet, is a guy with other motives in our opinion. The drink is an ice breaker, the rest is up to you.
It's not easy. Getting back on the horse is always hard, because most of the time, you go into it blind, scared, or misguided. Most often it's misguided, but also it's often all 3. Even if you end up on the merry-go-round it's ok. Look at it this way, you're learning to conquer the beginner stages, before moving on to the real beast. As for those onlookers, remember this one VERY important thing about them: they will try to tell you how to ride, they will try and tell you to get off, they will try to tell you that you're being silly. But don't listen to them because guess what, they're not there with you, and more importantly, they're not YOU. Plain and simple. Enjoy the ride people. It gets better.
I'm certainly no expert on relationships. You're talking to the girl who finds every reason imaginable to push people away because I literally don't know how to tell a guy that he's just not what I'm looking for. I also come off as heartless because I'll either ignore you to avoid the confrontation, or I'm really not hurt after someone leaves me, unless it's someone I truly care about. And in my lifetime, there's only been two people who I can say have left their marks on my heart. Everybody else, just walked in and out. But here's the thing, I'm observant, I study and I learn. And with these skills that I possess, I can infer and hope that my advice makes sense, but keep in mind, my advice will be generalized and my readers have the absolute freedom to adapt my advice to fit their needs and their situation. And really, that's the best way to deal with it anyway.
This blog is dedicated to a friend of mine, who after coming out of a long-term relationship is finding himself surrounded by beautiful women, with no interest of actually embarking on the dating scene. Now ladies, do not think of my boy Chad as a ladies man who's just looking to get his fun on while he finds that special someone. The amazing thing about this friend of mine is that he finds again, the BEAUTY in these women. He looks at them as potential partners, not potential fun times. He said his major complaint is the time it takes to initiate a woman into his life, and my goodness he is certainly right.
My advice to him was this: I've realized that our past is the past. The choices we've made show our emotions and our mindset in the time we've made these choices. But now we're at an age where we're looking for meaning in relationships again. Here's the thing though, that's so hard to do, when we don't know what the meaning is. His meaning is that he wants to find someone who will cuddle with him on a night in over a movie, take walks holding hands, and while this sounds cheesy movie cliché, some people still find this in their partners, so there's no shame in it.
He says he attracts beautiful "fast" women. So I told him this: you have to mirror the person you want your woman to be. The reason is because I've learned that a lot of women imitate the image a guy says he wants in a girl, if she feels that this guy is worth exploring. So if you want a mature, confident, woman, you have to exude maturity and confidence. You have to be what you want them to be, and we will indeed come to your level because we see it as a challenge.
Here's a situation: You're at a bar, talking to two women who have the basic qualities that you're looking for. One is prettier than the other though. Go with the one who's not as pretty, because here's what happens: the prettier one will now humble herself because you didn't choose her, you chose the other, and the not-as pretty one will be more confident in herself because she beat the pretty girl, and even if neither girl works out, you basically molded two women in a sense. And ladies, don't scold me for this, cz we're about to release Girl Code on TV...so our secrets are now coming out one way or another. So now how do you approach these women? We give clues. We're not good at it though, that and men aren't good at receiving them. Guys, the rate a girl drinks her drink will determine the length of time she's staying. If a girl is there just to drink, and she's slamming them down quickly, then she's either trying to get over someone, or it's girls night and she's taken so she doesn't care about the outcome either way. But a girl who's looking to at least catch a guy's attention will take her time. She'll glance around the bar and make eye contact. If you connect with her, and she smiles, step 1 is in the bag. Step 2 gets harder. You have to wait for that second clue, it'll either be the look with a hair flip, hair tuck, or some other small gesture. That's the ok, I'm playing shy card. You may now walk over to her. If her cup is full, don't offer the drink, let her finish the one she's got. When you see her running out, offer to buy her another, if she hints she's going to stay. If she says no, don't press it, she's just trying to assert her independence. Let it be that way, but continue to pursue conversation. If she says yes, only buy her the one. A guy who spends too much money on the first meet, is a guy with other motives in our opinion. The drink is an ice breaker, the rest is up to you.
It's not easy. Getting back on the horse is always hard, because most of the time, you go into it blind, scared, or misguided. Most often it's misguided, but also it's often all 3. Even if you end up on the merry-go-round it's ok. Look at it this way, you're learning to conquer the beginner stages, before moving on to the real beast. As for those onlookers, remember this one VERY important thing about them: they will try to tell you how to ride, they will try and tell you to get off, they will try to tell you that you're being silly. But don't listen to them because guess what, they're not there with you, and more importantly, they're not YOU. Plain and simple. Enjoy the ride people. It gets better.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Permanent Art...Tattoos
As a girl who absolutely indulges herself in symbolism, one of the things that I find myself drawn to is tattoos. A lot of people who are more traditional and contemporary don't understand the idea of tattoos, most see it as a form of rebellion from strict parents, but today, tattoo is starting to become what it always has been, a permanent form of expression between two people, on a canvas that can't be more personal than your own body.
Tattoos are a process. They are something that takes extreme courage for a lot of reasons. For the first, there's the idea of trust. You are trusting an individual other than yourself to be able to express what you are feeling, what you want others to feel when they look at your tattoo. You are trusting another person to kind of sort of get inside your head, take your basic idea, expand it and turn it into a symbolic work of art that not only expresses you, but highlights their work as an artist. That my friends, is something that is very difficult to do.
The second reason, it is painful, and furthermore, it is permanent. You are enduring minutes to hours of pain, while a needle presses ink underneath your skin that is super permanent. God forbid you end up being allergic to a color, your body is now fighting against something it doesn't like. You have to endure days of ointment to minimize the pain, you have to endure the breakout that you may experience from the allergic reaction (I found that I'm somewhat allergic to pinks. My body will now tolerate it, but the healing process is initially a break out around the pink). Certain parts of the body are more sensitive than others, you're hitting bone structures, you're hitting nerve endings, your body is literally at the hands of someone else who has to somehow understand that this is not easy.
Third, it's a matter of comfort! You are entrusting someone to see parts of your body that are otherwise hidden by clothing. If you choose a chest tattoo, as a female, you're in a spaghetti strap tank if that...sometimes, your shirt is off completely. If you want a thigh tattoo, welcome some short shorts into your life girl. Want a back piece? It all comes off with your shirt being your only cover for your boobs. If you end up with a male artist, you have to be willing to allow these guys to not merely touch you, but to rest their arms and hands against your body, holding it still while inking your skin. They see the parts of you that you may otherwise be uncomfortable with. They see you, and sometimes they also see your scars, especially if you're trying to cover them up. Your artist, is now your most personal invader. But guess what, this is the person who is creating for you, something you feel is absolutely worthwhile.
Communication is key with a tattoo. You have to fully express your ideas, your desires, but you have to do so clearly so that they can interpret what's on your mind. A lot of times people realize that this is a difficult thing, and they bring artwork with them, and have that tattooed. I've done it. I've gone online and just had basic images tatted on me, and sometimes, I'll allow my artist to sort of go with it, but most times we stick to the image at hand. Flexibility allows the artist to create something for you that is original and that will stand out more. And that is something I look forward to for my future ink.
But the point of my blog is this...tattoos are permanent art. And they are absolutely that, ART. They are expression, they are color, sometimes they are black and white, they are imagery, they are symbolism, they tell stories. Tattoos are a composite of ideas, they are communication between two people who have an understanding of one story, of one piece, and they are a product of trust, of passion, of comfort. If after this, you still don't understand it, then that's fine...you don't have to. But just don't judge a person or think of them a rebel. There may be more to their tattoos than you think.
Tattoos are a process. They are something that takes extreme courage for a lot of reasons. For the first, there's the idea of trust. You are trusting an individual other than yourself to be able to express what you are feeling, what you want others to feel when they look at your tattoo. You are trusting another person to kind of sort of get inside your head, take your basic idea, expand it and turn it into a symbolic work of art that not only expresses you, but highlights their work as an artist. That my friends, is something that is very difficult to do.
The second reason, it is painful, and furthermore, it is permanent. You are enduring minutes to hours of pain, while a needle presses ink underneath your skin that is super permanent. God forbid you end up being allergic to a color, your body is now fighting against something it doesn't like. You have to endure days of ointment to minimize the pain, you have to endure the breakout that you may experience from the allergic reaction (I found that I'm somewhat allergic to pinks. My body will now tolerate it, but the healing process is initially a break out around the pink). Certain parts of the body are more sensitive than others, you're hitting bone structures, you're hitting nerve endings, your body is literally at the hands of someone else who has to somehow understand that this is not easy.
Third, it's a matter of comfort! You are entrusting someone to see parts of your body that are otherwise hidden by clothing. If you choose a chest tattoo, as a female, you're in a spaghetti strap tank if that...sometimes, your shirt is off completely. If you want a thigh tattoo, welcome some short shorts into your life girl. Want a back piece? It all comes off with your shirt being your only cover for your boobs. If you end up with a male artist, you have to be willing to allow these guys to not merely touch you, but to rest their arms and hands against your body, holding it still while inking your skin. They see the parts of you that you may otherwise be uncomfortable with. They see you, and sometimes they also see your scars, especially if you're trying to cover them up. Your artist, is now your most personal invader. But guess what, this is the person who is creating for you, something you feel is absolutely worthwhile.
Communication is key with a tattoo. You have to fully express your ideas, your desires, but you have to do so clearly so that they can interpret what's on your mind. A lot of times people realize that this is a difficult thing, and they bring artwork with them, and have that tattooed. I've done it. I've gone online and just had basic images tatted on me, and sometimes, I'll allow my artist to sort of go with it, but most times we stick to the image at hand. Flexibility allows the artist to create something for you that is original and that will stand out more. And that is something I look forward to for my future ink.
But the point of my blog is this...tattoos are permanent art. And they are absolutely that, ART. They are expression, they are color, sometimes they are black and white, they are imagery, they are symbolism, they tell stories. Tattoos are a composite of ideas, they are communication between two people who have an understanding of one story, of one piece, and they are a product of trust, of passion, of comfort. If after this, you still don't understand it, then that's fine...you don't have to. But just don't judge a person or think of them a rebel. There may be more to their tattoos than you think.
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