Wednesday, September 26, 2012
I'm Feeling Myself...Are You?
This is probably going to be the most important blog I will ever write. This is a blog that I never thought I'd be sharing, a topic I never thought I'd experience. And while many women have gone through worse, it's still a fucking scary thing when you're on that table and you hear something that will change your life, change your perspective, and honest to God it will make you value everything you've ever acquired.
Today, I received news that I have a fibroadenoma. A common, typically benign, small tumor, or lump on my breast. Easily removed through surgery, and many even choose to leave it and monitor it, as some tend to go away on their own. They can grow to be the size of a lemon, or they can be tiny. Mine is 2.5cm wide and 1.15cm in height. I'll most likely opt to have it removed, because I certainly do not want to know that there is an irritating lump present in my chest. You're not welcome here buddy, sorry you're gonna have to go.
I'm not writing this blog for pity, for viewers, for fans, for sympathy. None of that. I'm writing this blog today, because it's important for us women at ANY age to really start taking care of ourselves. I'm 24, about to be 25, and I'm thinking, man I have a LIFE ahead of me, I have TIME. But even then, there are just NO guarantees whatsoever! There's a lot in my life I want to accomplish, and have yet to accomplish, and I'm not going anywhere until I'm done.
Back to my point, back to my awesome title...FEEL YOURSELF UP!!! Yeah it sounds so wrong, but we have got to do it. Go online and look up how to administer a self breast exam and start feeling those bad boys up. Don't wanna do it? Then have your boyfriend or girlfriend do it. Tell them what they should be looking for, and look regularly! That means once a month, because ladies, our hormones are forever raging. They change our bodies constantly and again, typically, we're told to wait til we're 30, but turns out, a fibroadenoma is more common in women under 30.
Oh and lastly, fuck you school system for not adding this shit to the health education line-up. Saving the TaTas is such a big deal nowadays, and we should start to face the damn reality...it can happen at any age, even if it is more common in women over 40. I don't care about common anymore, I was never COMMON to begin with. So let's eliminate that word, and introduce reality, that ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING is possible.
And by the way, if you're a friend of mine, and you truly care, here's what I want you all to do. I'm not asking you to make a donation in my name or anything like that. I'm gonna make it fun for you all...and I'm gonna add my own, to show that I'm gonna play fair. Go out, buy a pink shirt (you can get plain t's cheap almost anywhere so don't give me the broke excuse), and buy one of those braceletes, any bracelet. Whether it says I love Boobies, or it's a real Breast Cancer bracelet. Then, wear it, and post a picture!!! Title it I'm Feeling Myself! Plus, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month anyway...it's only super appropriate! Do this for me, fellas too! I wanna see these pics so get to posting and add it in my comments box! If you really wanna make me feel awesome, tag me in that shit! LOVE YOU ALL!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Crazy, It's Not What It Seems
This week is National Suicide Awareness Week and yesterday kickstarted it off by women writing "love" on their arms. The non profit organization To Write Love On Her Arms has stated that today is the day where we aim to change the stigmas on mental illness.
We've all heard the phrase "my girl is crazy". Fellas, what you think of as crazy is normal in comparison to the women who face coming to terms with the depressing thoughts that run rampid through their brains. Plus, did you ever stop to think that maybe there's a reason your girl is so crazy? It certainly didn't just happen, and she wasn't born that way.
Mental illness is something that cannot always be pinpointed. Some studies will show that mental illness is a product of one's environment while others show that women are genetically prone to mental illness. I believe that there is no definite answer, that in some situations, it is a byproduct of environment, that situations occur that make women doubt themselves, and ultimately as you guys say, just go crazy.
Women are emotionally dependent, and when we invest our hearts into someone or something, we do so with the full intent of being a part of it. Take myself for example. I have become insecure because of past relationships. When that insecurity increases, my tolerance for things unknown decreases, and not knowing is the thing that drives me crazy. Not having a clue, a lack of knowledge, is what really gets my mind reeling.
There are many women who have been in far worse situations than I have, but the point is, when we are broken down, when our psyches have been tampered with, when our insecurities show, we begin to lose bits and pieces of our sanity. When we are taken out of routine, we have to find ways to cope. We are not as adaptable as men are, and it shows, and it is evident. That girl that you think is crazy, has been damaged by the person who came into her life before you. You have a fragile person in your hands, and the way to understand her, is to get to know her, to talk to her, to support her and be there for her.
Mental illness is not a plague that is contagious, it is a plague to the person who experiences it. It takes over a lifestyle, it prohibits the mind from functioning on a day to day basis, it is an overwhelming feeling of lost self-control. We need to change the way we look at someone who may be depressed, who may be delusional, who may be volatile, and we need to discover the cause behind the problem. We need not judge these people based on their current status, because prior to that, these people most likely had everything together, only for it to quickly fall apart. The stronger ones are those who can rebuild themselves after being knocked down, those who can patch their insecurities, their psyches and their mind. They've overcome mental illness, they've stayed strong, they've gotten through it. Write love on her arms and show her that it's really going to be ok.
We've all heard the phrase "my girl is crazy". Fellas, what you think of as crazy is normal in comparison to the women who face coming to terms with the depressing thoughts that run rampid through their brains. Plus, did you ever stop to think that maybe there's a reason your girl is so crazy? It certainly didn't just happen, and she wasn't born that way.
Mental illness is something that cannot always be pinpointed. Some studies will show that mental illness is a product of one's environment while others show that women are genetically prone to mental illness. I believe that there is no definite answer, that in some situations, it is a byproduct of environment, that situations occur that make women doubt themselves, and ultimately as you guys say, just go crazy.
Women are emotionally dependent, and when we invest our hearts into someone or something, we do so with the full intent of being a part of it. Take myself for example. I have become insecure because of past relationships. When that insecurity increases, my tolerance for things unknown decreases, and not knowing is the thing that drives me crazy. Not having a clue, a lack of knowledge, is what really gets my mind reeling.
There are many women who have been in far worse situations than I have, but the point is, when we are broken down, when our psyches have been tampered with, when our insecurities show, we begin to lose bits and pieces of our sanity. When we are taken out of routine, we have to find ways to cope. We are not as adaptable as men are, and it shows, and it is evident. That girl that you think is crazy, has been damaged by the person who came into her life before you. You have a fragile person in your hands, and the way to understand her, is to get to know her, to talk to her, to support her and be there for her.
Mental illness is not a plague that is contagious, it is a plague to the person who experiences it. It takes over a lifestyle, it prohibits the mind from functioning on a day to day basis, it is an overwhelming feeling of lost self-control. We need to change the way we look at someone who may be depressed, who may be delusional, who may be volatile, and we need to discover the cause behind the problem. We need not judge these people based on their current status, because prior to that, these people most likely had everything together, only for it to quickly fall apart. The stronger ones are those who can rebuild themselves after being knocked down, those who can patch their insecurities, their psyches and their mind. They've overcome mental illness, they've stayed strong, they've gotten through it. Write love on her arms and show her that it's really going to be ok.
9/11 11 years later...
In light of the posts on facebook and on Instagram, I decided to share my thoughts and views on the occurrances of 9/11/2001.
I was sitting in lunch in 8th grade when the first plane hit. The principal came on the loudspeaker and announced that the period would be delayed, as we were now on lockdown due to a national security issue. Later on that day, the principal came back on the loudspeaker and announced that a second plane had crashed into the second tower. At that point, several students realized their lives would never be the same, as they had family members that worked in towers, or had family members that would be part of the rescue team.
The effect of the terrorist attacks on the trade centers is immeasurable, lives were lost, families broken, and faith in the strength of our nation had been diminished. We began to question the effectiveness of our Presidency, began to wonder whether or not our government had prior knowledge, and if they did, where was the preventative action that was necessary to ensure the nation's safety. Was the casualty count worth the lack of action because we were unsure? Because we did not have proof?
11 years later, our nation has still not recovered. Countless resources have been utilized in sending our troops into the line of fire, into nations that have refused our help, in order to maintain peaceful relationships. We still face the loss of men and women who are willing to fight for our freedom, knowing that they may or may not return.
I was watching TV not even for 5 minutes at the barbershop while my brother was getting a haircut, as all the names of the lives lost were being called by groups of two at a time, and each of these pairs took a group of names to recite. It was overwhelmingly sad, and I was dumbfounded at how to this day, we still see photos of people who are being deployed on duty, soldiers coming home to their families, soldiers leaving their families behind. Sadly, the war isn't over, and while we are forced to continue to fight it, we must always be reminded that we fight to protect our freedom, to protect our loved ones, to protect our nation.
Sadly, we have lost sight of the importance of appreciating the people we have in our lives. We have lost sight of the fact that this was a freak occurrence, and though mistakes were made, lives were lost, precautionary measures weren't taken, and countermeasures were more detrimental than beneficial. Think about it, I'm not trying to be mean on this one, but how many people still talk about Hurricane Katrina and New Orleans? It's fresher in the news in comparison, 6 years ago vs 11 years ago. But because it was a natural disaster and not a terrorist attack, we place more importance on the lives lost in the latter event. But the thing is, LIVES ARE STILL LOST.
Let's not let 9/11 be the reason we continue to mourn...by doing so, we're only showing that it continues to effect us, that we've given them a greater impact than they deserve. We need to show a sense of renewal, a sense of new strength, a sense of patriotism, nationalism. Let us continue to appreciate the men and women who have risked their lives, let us continue to thank them, and most importantly, let us be kind to our veterans, because these are the people who have seen things that we can't even imagine, things that we only read in textbook, or hear or see in the media.
I was sitting in lunch in 8th grade when the first plane hit. The principal came on the loudspeaker and announced that the period would be delayed, as we were now on lockdown due to a national security issue. Later on that day, the principal came back on the loudspeaker and announced that a second plane had crashed into the second tower. At that point, several students realized their lives would never be the same, as they had family members that worked in towers, or had family members that would be part of the rescue team.
The effect of the terrorist attacks on the trade centers is immeasurable, lives were lost, families broken, and faith in the strength of our nation had been diminished. We began to question the effectiveness of our Presidency, began to wonder whether or not our government had prior knowledge, and if they did, where was the preventative action that was necessary to ensure the nation's safety. Was the casualty count worth the lack of action because we were unsure? Because we did not have proof?
11 years later, our nation has still not recovered. Countless resources have been utilized in sending our troops into the line of fire, into nations that have refused our help, in order to maintain peaceful relationships. We still face the loss of men and women who are willing to fight for our freedom, knowing that they may or may not return.
I was watching TV not even for 5 minutes at the barbershop while my brother was getting a haircut, as all the names of the lives lost were being called by groups of two at a time, and each of these pairs took a group of names to recite. It was overwhelmingly sad, and I was dumbfounded at how to this day, we still see photos of people who are being deployed on duty, soldiers coming home to their families, soldiers leaving their families behind. Sadly, the war isn't over, and while we are forced to continue to fight it, we must always be reminded that we fight to protect our freedom, to protect our loved ones, to protect our nation.
Sadly, we have lost sight of the importance of appreciating the people we have in our lives. We have lost sight of the fact that this was a freak occurrence, and though mistakes were made, lives were lost, precautionary measures weren't taken, and countermeasures were more detrimental than beneficial. Think about it, I'm not trying to be mean on this one, but how many people still talk about Hurricane Katrina and New Orleans? It's fresher in the news in comparison, 6 years ago vs 11 years ago. But because it was a natural disaster and not a terrorist attack, we place more importance on the lives lost in the latter event. But the thing is, LIVES ARE STILL LOST.
Let's not let 9/11 be the reason we continue to mourn...by doing so, we're only showing that it continues to effect us, that we've given them a greater impact than they deserve. We need to show a sense of renewal, a sense of new strength, a sense of patriotism, nationalism. Let us continue to appreciate the men and women who have risked their lives, let us continue to thank them, and most importantly, let us be kind to our veterans, because these are the people who have seen things that we can't even imagine, things that we only read in textbook, or hear or see in the media.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Prince Charming...Not My Type
This blog is going to be for clarification. It's going to be dedicated to all my friends who sit there and tell me that I deserve a prince charming, that I should be looking for someone who treats me like a princess, and whatever else they tell me. Now I don't mean to offend all you ladies because I honestly love you with all my heart, and I know you guys think you're looking out for me, but I've needed to say this, and it took me a while, because I needed to be sure for myself, that I know what I want.
Here's what's wrong with your Prince Charming/Princess theory. It's just that...a theory, one that has some result, but not enough evidence to support the full idea. Prince Charming is a creation of the mind, an ideal that we women have created based on several Disney movies, which were created for children. The goal was to instill hope in us at a young age to seek a happy ending. To know that through disfunctional families, through bad luck, through evil, through friendship, we can overcome obstacles, we can face people standing in our way, and at the end of it all is a man who will be by your side. And those are wonderful stories but they are far from my story.
Prince Charmings are perfect, almost flawless. These princesses are just as beautiful, with hair flowing in the wind, voices like angels, hearts of gold. But that's not the world we live in. Not everyone can sing, not everyone has perfect hair, not everyone has a heart of gold. Not every prince charming is perfect. He will have flaws. He's not going to come in riding on his stallion, he's not going to wake you from a coma with a kiss, he's not going to search far and wide to give you back your shoe. I guess this is why I never dug the whole fairy tale thing, and why I appreciate RomCom's instead. They seem a little more realistic. Still cliche, but current.
I'll tell you I've found about myself. I'm a little more traditional. Throughout high school, while everyone was talking about boyfriends that showered them with gifts, that bought them cute little balloons and flowers on their three monthaversary, and a bracelet that said I love you on their sixth monthaversary (ugh I hated that), I was saying to myself, I won't be that girl. I don't need a man to shower me with gifts, I don't need a guy to celebrate every single month we're together. I want simplicity. I want a guy who's ok with doing the little things with me, the simple stuff, like watching a DVD over popcorn or applesauce lol. Like going pumpkin picking, like going wine tasting, or going into the city for a dinner at Hard Rock Cafe, just because I want to see a shit ton of guitars signed by people I probably won't remember. Someone to watch the football game with me over beers and burgers on a Sunday afternoon, and laughing at me with I shout at the TV because I'm a huge football dork.
Guess what ladies, for the most part, I've found that. And I'm happy. Because he's a dork, like me. He's become my best friend, the person that I spend my time with outside work, when I need to be away from it all. He's the person I watch those movies with, the person who something so silly as tv surfing is just as interesting as a night out at the bar, because we'll discover a movie we haven't seen. Someone who can switch from action packed vampire killing werewolf hunting movies, to Wall-E. Someone who flicks my nose and licks my face cz he's a bigger dork than I am. But these quirks are the same quirks that I have, the things that I'll never admit to on a normal basis, yet I stand here saying it now because it's exactly what I've always wanted and needed in my life.
Emotionally though, he's there for me when I need him. He's supportive beyond belief. He pushes me to be better, to keep going when my house of cards gets knocked down. He's helped me rebuilt it, and turned it into a fort that he's the guard of. And when things try to bring me down, he's there to pick me right back up. He's the first person I want to tell everything to, good or bad, when something happens, I think of him. The fact that he sticks with me through my craziness is something that I appreciate more than anything. He sees me for who I am, he brings me out of my shell, he let's me be myself, and yet despite the fact that I push and push, he stays. I'm happier than I've ever been, I'm back to who I was, I am myself, I am that dorky girl who thought she'd never find someone who could understand that beyond that crazy, is someone who is, as he calls me...awesome :)
Here's what's wrong with your Prince Charming/Princess theory. It's just that...a theory, one that has some result, but not enough evidence to support the full idea. Prince Charming is a creation of the mind, an ideal that we women have created based on several Disney movies, which were created for children. The goal was to instill hope in us at a young age to seek a happy ending. To know that through disfunctional families, through bad luck, through evil, through friendship, we can overcome obstacles, we can face people standing in our way, and at the end of it all is a man who will be by your side. And those are wonderful stories but they are far from my story.
Prince Charmings are perfect, almost flawless. These princesses are just as beautiful, with hair flowing in the wind, voices like angels, hearts of gold. But that's not the world we live in. Not everyone can sing, not everyone has perfect hair, not everyone has a heart of gold. Not every prince charming is perfect. He will have flaws. He's not going to come in riding on his stallion, he's not going to wake you from a coma with a kiss, he's not going to search far and wide to give you back your shoe. I guess this is why I never dug the whole fairy tale thing, and why I appreciate RomCom's instead. They seem a little more realistic. Still cliche, but current.
I'll tell you I've found about myself. I'm a little more traditional. Throughout high school, while everyone was talking about boyfriends that showered them with gifts, that bought them cute little balloons and flowers on their three monthaversary, and a bracelet that said I love you on their sixth monthaversary (ugh I hated that), I was saying to myself, I won't be that girl. I don't need a man to shower me with gifts, I don't need a guy to celebrate every single month we're together. I want simplicity. I want a guy who's ok with doing the little things with me, the simple stuff, like watching a DVD over popcorn or applesauce lol. Like going pumpkin picking, like going wine tasting, or going into the city for a dinner at Hard Rock Cafe, just because I want to see a shit ton of guitars signed by people I probably won't remember. Someone to watch the football game with me over beers and burgers on a Sunday afternoon, and laughing at me with I shout at the TV because I'm a huge football dork.
Guess what ladies, for the most part, I've found that. And I'm happy. Because he's a dork, like me. He's become my best friend, the person that I spend my time with outside work, when I need to be away from it all. He's the person I watch those movies with, the person who something so silly as tv surfing is just as interesting as a night out at the bar, because we'll discover a movie we haven't seen. Someone who can switch from action packed vampire killing werewolf hunting movies, to Wall-E. Someone who flicks my nose and licks my face cz he's a bigger dork than I am. But these quirks are the same quirks that I have, the things that I'll never admit to on a normal basis, yet I stand here saying it now because it's exactly what I've always wanted and needed in my life.
Emotionally though, he's there for me when I need him. He's supportive beyond belief. He pushes me to be better, to keep going when my house of cards gets knocked down. He's helped me rebuilt it, and turned it into a fort that he's the guard of. And when things try to bring me down, he's there to pick me right back up. He's the first person I want to tell everything to, good or bad, when something happens, I think of him. The fact that he sticks with me through my craziness is something that I appreciate more than anything. He sees me for who I am, he brings me out of my shell, he let's me be myself, and yet despite the fact that I push and push, he stays. I'm happier than I've ever been, I'm back to who I was, I am myself, I am that dorky girl who thought she'd never find someone who could understand that beyond that crazy, is someone who is, as he calls me...awesome :)
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