When it Comes to Love

I've always believed that there's a difference between what we want and what we need. But I am also realistic, I've always been aware that way too often people confuse these two and mistake what they think they need for something they really want. It's honestly hard to tell the difference, but here's where the line becomes the blurriest...when it comes to love.

We all want to find someone that we can really connect with, someone who will make us laugh, smile, who will melt our hearts and make us that giggly little girl that you see in movies. Someone who's romantic who will always find a way to show that they are thinking of us. But it really isn't the same as what we need.

It's hard to determine what we need in a relationship. Some of us girls need a man who will be our rock, her strength, someone who can get her through the things she can't do alone. Others of us need someone to be our opposite. The man who will tame our wild ways, or the man who will bring that little wild side out of us, someone who can show us all the things we're missing.

Now the fun part...what we deserve. This is probably where most relationships fall apart. Our heads are filled with ideas on the type of guy we deserve. Our friends tell us, you deserve a guy who will always text you, it shows you're always on his mind. If he doesn't, then he doesn't really care about you. Please don't fall for this, to some extent, it's true, a guy should text you, but not all the time. He needs time to miss you, he needs time to feel your lack of presence. But there are times where he will be busy, or he will have a lot on his mind, and while yes, a text takes only a few seconds, not all men think that way. Here's another one: you deserve a guy who treats you like a princess, like a queen. Someone who spoils you. No, not at all. I don't want someone to treat me like a princess or a queen or spoil me because it's not always genuine. The princesses we think of are the Disney princesses, the ones who meet their soulmate through a kiss that wakes them from a deep sleep or rescues them from a poison apple. The prince who searches far and wide across the land to find the maiden who left her shoe behind in his castle and sweeps her away from a rough family situation. The man who showers you with gifts and little tokens of affection to keep you happy or keep you around, but it doesn't necessarily means that he's just as happy. Lastly, here's my favorite, you deserve a guy who'll never make you cry. Let's be realistic, we're females, we're gonna cry. But it depends on the reason why you do it. If you're with a guy who makes you cry because all you do is argue all the time, then no that's not someone you want to be with. But if you cry because your biggest fear is losing him, because you know that you can't be without him, because you're so happy that he's in your life, then that's a man worth fighting for. Those are tears worth shedding.

So here's the way I see it. Find the man who makes you feel everything that you can't get from anyone else. The kind of love that you can't get from family and friends. Find the guy who makes you feel what people cannot see...the butterflies in your stomach, the erratic beating of your heart, the fire in your soul, the radiance of your aura. Find the guy who makes you smile at the thought of him, at the thought of seeing him. The one who makes you exuberate happiness outwardly. When the whole world can see how happy you are at the mere mention of his name, when they can see that glow, then you know you have found something that is unbelievable, something that can't be matched.

So on a personal note, I'll tell the world, I need him. I don't want to be without him, because all I want is him. More than anything. There is no other, because I just don't care nor am I interested in any other man. He has my heart and I know I've done everything to push him away, but many times, he stayed. He saw something in me, and it was something he thought was worth exploring. I cry because losing him hurts more than anything. He's the one thing in my life that I'd fight for, the one thing I want to keep, the one constant that keeps me going, that makes me strive to continue to be a better me. He pushed me to greatness, he made me a stronger fighter, he showed me that not only was I awesome, but that I was an accomplished chick. And while I knew all of this on a certain level, he took me to the next. And all I wanted, all I still want, is to do the same for him. But now I can't, and now I'm without. And I'm not the same.