Untitled Blog of Love

 

I sit here listening to my iPod because I can't sleep (and apparently I can't type either). I've got a few things on my mind tonight and one of them is one of the members of phunk phenomenon on ABDC bcz he's hot despite the fact that he's not my type, yet somehow I feel like I could fall for a dude that looks like he does. Besides that, I'm also thinking about how I want more from my life. I need a better job already and I keep applying to what feels like faraway dreams and improbabilities.

I'm that girl who's loved a great deal by her friends, who has to be told constantly that she is indeed a great girl, otherwise, she'll never believe it.  Nor does she believe that she's beautiful, or that she's amazing, and all those great things that only her friends and family can seem to atest to.  Despite my best efforts, and despite not making one and trying to let love find me rather than me trying to find love, I have spent and experienced years of finding nothing worthwile, and finding everything that I didn't need.

I want to feel a love like no other, one that caters to the hopeless romantic in me, one that generates a connection on a chemical level to where our brain waves and our souls vibe together in ways never imagined. The thing about me, is that I will admit I can love easily, and sometimes I do.  But I know that the love, the trust, and the effort I put into these men, only result in friendships, which I am more than satisfied with, because I know these are people I can seek comfort in, and some sort of reassurance, or at least honest feedback. 


ONE DAY...(haha I had to, being that it's part of the title of my page), I will find perfection, because perfection is what I seek.  And I don't mean perfection in personality, or physical appearance, but I mean perfection in our compatibility.  Our personalities will complement each other, and we'd fit like two pieces of a puzzle.  It's a dream, yes, it's a wish that I've made upon hundreds of stars, and countless times on 11:11.  As many times as I'd like to have given up, I can never seem to lose hope, because there's just a part of me that won't let it die. That hopeless romantic in me that screams to be in front of the tv, and as the rain falls outside my window a tear rolls down my cheek as I think of all my favorite TV couples, wanting and yearning for that which I have yet to experience. With that said, I can only hope to find those things, so that I may feel some type of fulfillment rather than a massive void.